Somewhere along the lines, men have lost their touch in being MEN. The Black Man offers ways to get it back.
Let’s clear a few things up.
I am an endorser of many things; Godliness, female respect, gentleman-like actions, humility, honor, protection, provision and responsibility. One thing I don’t endorse:
Letting a woman push you around.
Selective media scenes and cultural customs that never get questioned often define how women treat men in modern relationships. Add in the firestorm of mistreatment, fatherless home-rearing, hip-hop education, celebrity opinion, American selfishness and the infinite versions of feminism and it may be difficult to find your man mantle.
But make no mistake, you’ve got to find and establish your manhood at all costs. Because if you don’t stand for something, she will make you fall for everything. I’m not against women, but I would never let a woman put me down to bring herself up. Her empowerment can’t be at my expense. Ya dig?
Because at the end of the day, I’m still a man.
That being said, 10 things Men’s Men must consider adopting in today’s society:
1. Never Sleep On the Couch
I’m not sure when pop culture began to popularize the “she’s mad at him so he has to sleep downstairs on the sofa because she threw a pillow on the loveseat” relegation technique. But in any household occupied with a man with a spine, this should never happen. Why? Who said? Is there a Bible scripture that supports this?
Thou shalt throweth a pillow on the holy sofa to showeth a man that he must sleepeth in the valley of the shadow of death if he doth not acteth right. False Chapter 4:3
As far as I’m concerned, men are the ones that literally screwed the bed together, and probably bought the frame at their local IKEA. So just because we had an argument, I’m not hanging my feet off the edge of the sofa pillows.
In fact, I’d get to bed first and spread my arms and legs out. Then, I’d constantly snatch the covers off at 3AM and leave her freezing just be extra obnoxious for even THINKING she can relegate me to the lower level. Richer or poorer, better or worse… You know the drill. Now go to sleep.
2. Never Leave Your Own House for Days Because You Had an Argument
Rule: If you put money on the downpayment and your name is on the deed or the lease, do not leave your own home just because you disagree on something. I don’t get it. Where they do that at?
Oh, we had a big fight? This is your house now? Let me tap into my inner Mystikal:
*Naaa Nanananaa Naaaa*
Since when? You need a break? Take a break! Upstairs. I’ll be in the kitchen fixing a sandwich from the leftovers you made for last night’s dinner. And guess what? I’m going to poop and fart it right out in the master bathroom toilet, too. I paid good money to poop and fart in my toilet, and I’ma do it. I’m still coming home and opening up the door with my key that I earned when I bought the house we live in. If you lock it, I’m calling the locksmith. And then I’m coming in and watching Sports Center. Separation is for suckers. We’re working it out.
3. Never Get on Your Knees to Beg a Woman for Anything.
I feel strongly about this. Who begs in 2011? There’s only one time in life a man should ever physically lower himself to a woman, and that’s to ask her for marriage. One knee at that. But begging a woman is about as un-manlike as it comes. If you’re going to do that, go to Forever 21, put on some stocking pants and prance around with a purse. Please. This is for men only. Real men don’t beg. And I don’t bargain nor do I try to be politically correct when it comes to my manhood. Neither should you.
4. Never Ask a Woman More Than Twice to Marry You.
I know one guy that’s asked his girlfriend four times to marry her, and each time she says she needs more time to “do her.” Bro… it’s time to let her go. She has to think about it? She’s not right for you! Stop asking! So maybe you jumped the gun and asked her after the first week. Okay, that’s reparable. But if she can’t figure it out after three or four times, find someone who can. Plus, your cards are already out there and now she thinks she can mess with your head. GOH.
5. Never Let a Woman Think She Has Full Custody of the Kid You Two Made Together.
If she has full custody, it’s because you allowed it to be so in some form. You either severely screwed up or you’ve totally given up. Remember, the child comes from her and you. You signed that certificate right? …. Right??!!! Despite what society – whoever that is – wants to say, come and see your child as much as you possibly can. It’s your right. Your child, despite what anonymous society sayers slip in, needs you desperately. You will always be needed.
If it gets too deep, go to court. It’s worth the paperwork and your pride. Make sure you’re invested and make sure you read up; take dad classes and show the courts you’re an excellent father that is worthy.
You deserve to be with the child just as much as she does. Just because you can’t get along does not automatically give her the right to do whatever she wants with their life. Just because she thinks she knows whats best for the child doesn’t mean she knows what’s best for the child. Never give up on your child and never give in to the circumstances that keeps you from your kids. The fabric of society depends on it.
6. Never Let a Woman Think She’s Giving it Up to You. You Both Are Giving it Up to Each Other. What She Has is Not in Any Way Shape or Form More Valuable Than What You Have Sexually.
The penis is just as important as the vagina. You need both in order to make another human being. Traditionally, anyway. Speaking of which…
7. Stop Abusing Your Penis.
Pounding it against any old vagina out there that will take it is not the most healthy thing on earth. Just because she’s available doesn’t make her CLEAN, physically, emotionally or spiritually. Some women really have some problems and you don’t want her mixing with you. It happens, bro.
Sure, you think you’ve got it, but there’s this thing called STDs and it can mess your life up. BAD. It’s not healthy to use the penis on any woman that wants it. So what? You’ve got to be selective sometimes, damn! Lest you wind up with some stalker that you never liked randomly getting pregnant because she said she was on the pill but she lied. Then you’re going to want to kill yourself.
8. Never Apologize More Than a Few Times.
The Rule: If you’re really wrong, apologize sincerely… once. If you really, really messed up, maybe two or three times. But nothing grinds my gears more than a dude that apologizes 1000 times. What for? By the way…
9. If You’re Cheating on Her, You Don’t Love Her. Seriously Re-evaluate Your Priorities and/or Just Get It Over With.
If you’re married or in a serious relationship, and you’re still banging other women on the side, don’t lie to yourself. You do not still somehow love your wife/girlfriend, anymore. It’s okay. Because lots of men fall out of love and don’t like the women they are in a relationship with. It happens. The best thing to do is seriously evaluate how you feel. Is it just a cold spell? Can you survive the hardship, or is she the devil in a wheelchair spitting darts at your face? Make an informed decision.
If you still love your significant other, STOP cheating on her, get tested and make sure you never go down that road. They all find out anyway, so it’s only a slippery slope. If you’re done with her, just break up. It’s better to do it like that. She may not like it, but at least she will respect you. But regardless of what a woman is doing, she rarely, if ever, deserves to be cheated on. It’s just a fact. Even if she is annoying, do not put her, the kids you may have and her future in jeopardy.
10. Always Be the Bigger Man
It’s no secret, I hold my fellow man to higher standards than women. Why? Because I’m a man, that’s why. At the end of the day, men cannot control what women feel, think or do. It shouldn’t matter where a woman is in life, whether she’s a prostitute or a Preacher’s wife, a gentleman always maintains respect and honors the God-given female body, spirit and soul.
Just don’t forget what God gave you.
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Done and Done. I’m going to make that rule 10B.
I would add one thing more: If you tell her the truth more than once and she still does not believe you, accept the fact that you are powerless to convince her otherwise and that will be the state of your relationship should you wish it to continue.
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