Just when we were all about to bang on Bey, she calls us yet again with another flawless performance. We just keep learning time after time, Beyonce is the definition of perfection…
So what if your album sales are lagging? What is your brilliant buzz has been recently spritzed with apathy Raid and your star is starting to dim behind the polluted air of jealousy and jaded souls?
What if your haters start salivating at your downfall and people start proving that you are human after all; that your robotic perfection has kinks and your veins actually have blood? What do you do when the crowd is cackling at your road bump?
You show your baby bump.
Don’t call the detectives, everyone knew Beyonce stole the show.
Just as I was praying that Chris Brown’s flying rope would somehow snap so I could find something to laugh at, in comes Ms. Picture Perfect Beyonce and her “too cute to find anything to criticize” performance with a baby bump. I really can’t stand Beyonce.
I can’t stand her because she succeeds at being so perfect.
So that’s why her album wasn’t the greatest! That’s why she wasn’t the usual superstar singer! She must have been distracted. She must have been preoccupied.
She is about as flawless of a sister as they get, but equally tactical in her overall presentation and image. She has no tats, she’s perfectly articulate; robotic smiles, amazingly calculated, tremendously talented singing machinery that shreds the female singing game like Jordan in his prime.
She even got married before she got pregnant! Like, there’s no kids from another man. Where’s the Mary J. Blige-sponsored drama?Even the most scandalous of blogs can’t produce any realistic rumor mill magic to make her look slight and regular. Even Jay-Z is bouncing around, happy as he’s ever been; a proud papa to be, a relieved man that finally got what he was made to be patient for.
Can Beyonce please… just for one moment, stop killing the game so much?
Just when you think the Bey is over, the Bey kills you with kindness; a continuing killer smile and magnetic performance.
See, you can’t possibly hate on a pregnant woman. Even is she didn’t make the move, she made you move. Even while she goes into mother-mode, she knows you just can’t stop caring, and you won’t stop checking in.
Here’s to a healthy child, and props for always keeping us interested.
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wow cuzzin. im back from a long vaca.. your writing skillz are immaculate! KUDOS!