The Black Man wraps up his three-part series as to why black men remain unemployed. The statistics are clear, but the reasons aren’t. Read a very, very personal account of how pride may go before free-fall in confidence.
I remember this being a good day. Really. An implausibly simple seven hours of work, calmly handled in my top floor office. My pants were still dry-cleaner crisp, my confidence on Jay-Z. My tie is as colorful as my personality; professionally postured and prepped for a pleasant evening.
Tonight, I was the Theo to my mom’s Claire Huxtable. Rarely does she ever visit me after work, but this was that type of day. I zip down on the unusually express elevator. The door opens, and my face is her profile. She smiles and her eyebrows go up. I can tell. She’s proud of me.
We waltz a few blocks in Philly’s downtown district; we’ve already taken off our rat race sneakers, talking family business like Kanye’s first album. Just as we were on our second verse, our beat was skipped by some bootlegging brother selling shirts.
Now this guy boldly walks in front of us with eyes part determination, part desperation. He forces the fake smile of the year and pitches us a fabricated line on his custom t-shirts.
I’m trying to skip back into the second verse. I cut him off mid talk with a, “I’m good….” line. Now maybe that was rude. But In Philly, that’s what you do. Sometimes you HAVE to be rude. Plenty of people in the metropolis are always trying to play you, hustling your spending money and taking advantage of the naiive. Nathan ain’t one of those people.
“I’m good…”
So, I try to walk on, but he’s blocking me like the first play in a football game. “Exuse me, man!” he says loudly.
Here he go… “Now wait a minute, wait a minute… I haven’t finished!!! You GONNA hear me out!”
Oh… I am? That’s funny. Now I’m really about to get angry, but Claire Huxtable saw my facial expression and said something that really shocked me.
“Nathan!” she says, “let the man finish advertising his product. It’s the least you can do.”
Are you serious?
Almost like a pleased little sibling, he goes, “thaaaaank you.” The t-shirt pitcher goes on and pitches his urban-based t-shirt line. We don’t buy the shirt, but he appreciated the opportunity to pitch his idea to us. Well, alright then.
But just as I was about to warm up to the situation, he decided to throw a verbal dart straight to my forehead. “You know I’m just trying to feed my fam and keep my pride. Don’t wanna be sellin’ out to the white man like you.”
And that… right there… was when I lost my appetite. And if it weren’t for my mother, I’d have lost my temper too. I wasn’t the same for the rest of the week.
****
I can’t tell you how many times a black male in Philadelphia has tried to sell me something on the street. Marijuana, t-shirts, watches, chains, CDs, DVDs, candy, phones, batteries and shea butter. Books, cell phone holders, polo shirts, fruit, baskets and even guns. I’m almost always not interested. And I’m usually almost always insulted afterwards.
“You’re a sellout anyway.”
“At least I’m not out here working for the white man like you.”
“Aight, aight…. go on then ya Uncle Tom @ss n****a.”
I could go on and on. But this type of stuff has happened to me all the time.
Sometimes, those viral words start eating at my insides. Well, what if I am a sellout, Uncle Tom @ss n****a? Maybe these guys are right. Maybe I’m not representing for my own race of men. Maybe I should do something different!
Nah… I’m paid.
But I’m not lying when I tell you that I’ve seen black males ripping off their fancy ties like its a scarlett letter, dudes pulling off their perfectly untucked business shirts as soon as they get off the subways.
Amazingly, they don’t want to get laughed at. People in the hood are literally amused by the sight of a black man working. It’s asinine, and its amazing. Imagine how it feels to live in a neighborhood where your own community does not encourage traditional employment?
I’ve been laughed at for wearing khaki pants, dress pants and button-up shirts. I’ve been teased for rocking dress shoes and cufflinks. Having a job is not a source of pride in many an inner city, but rather a source of embarrassment.
I’m not lying.
******
My brain is incapable of not analyzing the little things. To quell my morning commutes in the city, I’ve counted the number of black males dressed up for work on the subways and trains. Unfortunately, it’s a very easy mental game. Because usually, I count six or seven… at best.
I am so used to eating alone during lunch time that it doesn’t even bother me anymore. I don’t even realize that I’m by myself anymore. I can guarantee that in my building, which has several businesses and over 20 floors has less than 20 black males under the age of 30 working there in administrative positions. Heck, probably less than 10.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to go with a group of guys of like mind and enjoy a happy hour, or a group lunch at a posh grill. Just brothers, in shirts and ties, working and putting our minds together in a social atmosphere. I’ve been at my job for over four years. It’s never happened.
For some black men, working downtown in an office and looking like a Macy’s model is against their code of color. I really don’t know why. At least in downtown Philly, there are amazing opportunities that men who are living not even two miles away want to take advantage of. They have too much pride to work for an administration of people who are not our color. They are unwilling to conform to the contract that demand things be done a certain way.
Instead, their interest is being their own bosses, even if it means selling illegal items. I’m not saying they are wrong, but they are certainly running.
Whether it’s the right way, only God knows.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, I live in the heart of Brooklyn and I see brotha’s coming home from work and I have never seen any one have anything but respect for them…..
But ok If you are rude to people that just didn’t have what you got for what ever reason, maybe you should take a moment and think about how you see your self as apposed to people that look like you, who may have not have the same opportunity’s, circumstance or abillatys as your self……
The point is my Brotha, what’s the use of backing a man thats going to become successfull, then turn there backs on people that come from the same community’s. It’s a wast of effort after a wile, and if you didn’t know it, its something that’s becoming quite common these days.
The comment Im pad, is the same excuse pimps, drug dealers, the white oligarchy government use to justify every aspect of social crime that they commit on the world population, if your legitimate like you claiming, you don’t have to broadcast what you make to less fortunate people…. Just a thought…..
I don’t think the focus of this piece is the ‘man’ but how we treat our own kind. Regardless of the reasons behind our thinking, in this day & age we can no longer blame someone else and that’s it. While someone can be holding us as a people back, we still have a responsibility to rise above.
So I applaud you once again for highlighting another area of black life often swept under the rug. Yes, black folks have lots of issues, but why aren’t we encouraging young Kevin to be like Nathan instead of Hakim?
Loved this post. As someone who’s been called a sellout since college I can definitely relate. However, I think there is an even stronger undertow that prevents some of us from landing some of these jobs. I work in the film and television industry, you wanna talk isolationism and feeling alone, try working on a production where you are the only Black male for miles, it can be depressive if you let it get to you.
Being recently unemployed I’ve been interviewing for what one would term “high powered” positions and interview after interview when I show up at the offices I notice the stark reality there are little or no Black people around. It’s a very humbling experience because one realizes that I’m not just going up against other potential hires but also against an entire mindset that is eroding but is still entrenched here in the US. No amount of experience, education, charm, contacts, or skill is going to change the fact that I’m Black and although that’s a positive for me, it’s a negative for many.
Nothing wrong with and educated black man that wants to work hard for his, I am so sorry you have to go through that. I can’t say I experience this here on the west coast,however there is a shortage of men here who are like you to say the least. If I do see a brother like that they are usually with a white girl or other race. Maybe because black folks not open to broadening their perspectives of life. They see only bling and live to buy material things to define themselves. Our people so caught up on this material world that they don’t even have a back up plan, college fund for their kids, a will or a financial plan for the future. Most of our people are wearing their entire retirement and life saving on their body or in material things. A job does not define you, a car,a house and what you wear around your neck or on your body doesn’t define you. It’s what you do for your family and how you treat people, your relationship with God and community that is what defines you. This is deep Nate. Whew…..This nation is getting dumber and dumber with age and the system is designed to make them that way.
This is a good post. I’m sharing this with my cousin. Wondering what I could possibly do to help him with his situation. He’s already 20 and hasn’t had a job yet, and his attitude towards working is terrible. Hope this helps.
I remember this one time I was doing an internship and I had to dress up everyday. And I’m walking down the street and these group of kids were just laughing at me as if I were in a clown costume.
Pretty soon, I starting taking a different route, but this article just reminded me of that memory. We have a long way to go…
Thank you for the article. I’ve experienced the same thing on many occasions. I typically chalk it up as an excuse for underachieving, or for the belief that they can’t succeed in the “corporate” world. I will never knock a man for working an honest hustle, and I make a point to support other black men working those hustles when I can. But all too often a brother will get offended when I don’t support and often the response is to lash out. The false assumption that I sold out (as opposed to being my own boss) tells me that it ain’t personal, but that they feel that way about any brother that may look “corporate,” whether they patronize them or not. I don’t internalize it.
I’ve seen it working young people in the Chicago Publc School system; our children are taught (either subliminally or explicitly) by everyone around them — teachers, family, friends — that they can’t succeed and that they will fail trying. So they devise the deflection that someone who does succeed is a sell-out, or a lame… and they take that with them into adulthood. We need to be pushing our children (and their families) to KNOW that success can be theirs and to not give up on themselves so easily.
I’m surprised you never mentioned racism or bigotry in your series. These sort of conditions exist, indeed, but you can’t discount the systematic, low-key racism employed against our young men of color. There are plenty of black males getting dressed up from head to toe, looking their best, who are qualified, only to get turned down and away.
I don’t want to sound like I’m saying the system is against us, but best believe that there is effort against seeing black males in places of employment in our American cities.
Maybe you shouldn’t be so rude, lol!
Great post. I’m new to this site but it looks like you are writing some really good stuff. Keep it up brother.
This sort of thing exists in the inner cities all across America. The postpartum slave syndrome still exists and I wish some of us would simply wake up.
Bravo for bringing light to a subject that is rarely focused on, black men and their utter defiance of employment as a result of some wayward reverse power struggle of sorts. It goes along the same issues with being teased for doing your homework, or not being black enough because you get good grades. I have never understood this dynamic.
Wow. I can honest sympathize with you on this one. Honestly, I have gone through the same thing. I’ve been called sellout and oreo and all those names just for having a job. It’s a combination of low self-esteem and misunderstanding. I just try to shrug it off. Interesting write up here, Nate.